Many couples have been helped by a book called Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. It was written in 2004 by Emerson Eggerichs, a non-Catholic but Christian author.>Here’s the basic online description: Women primarily need love, whereas men primarily need respect. Husbands and wives are wired differently, so misunderstandings often arise not from malice, but from missing the other’s core need.>According to Eggerichs, the “Crazy Cycle” is when a wife feels unloved, she reacts in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. In response, he reacts in ways that feel unloving to her, causing a destructive cycle. The “Energizing Cycle,” on the other hand, is when a husband shows love (even without experiencing respect from her.) Then, the wife is likely to respond with respect. Similarly, when a wife shows respect (even without feeling love), the husband is likely to respond with affection and warmth to her.

Originally published in Padre Peregrino. Read original article